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Think Outside the Hyphen with New Nuptial Name Change Trends
Let's assume for a moment we all consider the tradition of adopting your husband's last name to be on par with the mass identity theft conspiracy discovered in this morning's news. What's a modern bride to do?
As a feminist and a poet, I've always thought of the hyphen as the ultimate thrilling symbol of an egalitarian marriage. When I first heard of this darling little Dickension dash being inserted in bride and groom's surnames, I thought rather dreamily that it functioned as a neat bridge uniting two kindred identities. After so many years of patriarchal naming conventions, this punctuation seemed powerful, potent, and utterly adequate. Except.
Except when you think about it further and realizing you are consigning your kids to cumbersome last names, names that won't necessarily be passed on to your grandkids or their kids, names that are a pain to write, speak, and resonate with.
I'm not ready to burn bridges with the hyphen just yet, but I did decide to look into a few other naming options for my fellow bridezillas that are potentially a better marriage of practicality and principle. Read on for new nuptial name-changing techniques that offer exciting new possibilities for brides.
Using your maiden name as your middle name. If you don't want a tedious surname, take a cue from the likes of Hillary Rodham Clinton and Teresa Heinz Kerry. Taking your last name as your middle name is a nice solution that neatly mitigates the cumbersome last name issue. Best of all, it's easy to pass on to your kids by giving them your maiden name as their middle name too. That way the whole family remains connected and there's no hyphen headaches. The only cons are having to lose a current middle name or tack on a second one, but those seem pretty cursory compared to the alternatives.
Taking a new last name together. This is a more radical idea to some, but definitely stays closer to the idea of leaving the past behind and starting a fresh future together. While it may seem severe to completely sever family ties, keep in mind this is what the bride is already doing. Now at least, its a mutual statement. This idea also allows you the freedom to give your kids creative, attractive or favorite middle names and keeps your last name down to the minimum. It's a pretty bold romantic statement to make sure a visible commitment to your new life together. The cons include double the name change paper work and risking hurting your family.
What name change tradition do you like best? Do you know any creative solutions we haven't listed here? Bridezilla would love to hear them, so weigh in below!
BookZilla Review: Queen of Babble Gets Hitched
Summer reading is supposed to be like a hot summer fling -- easy, fun and purely for entertainment. Queen of Babble Gets Hitched strives to be all of those things, but with cliche characters and plot that reads like adolescent fiction, it unfortunately falls flat. We suggest bridezillas tote a different book to the beach house this summer.
Written by Meg Cabot (author of The Princess Diaries), the third installment in the Queen of Babble series centers around weddings. It takes place in a posh, French-style bridal shop in Manhattan. While Lizzie is busy retrofitting vintage gowns for wealthy brides, her mind is on her own engagement to Luke -- a "good on paper" guy with a lot of cash, but not a lot of heart.
Enter Chaz - Luke's yokel best friend who seems to have a thing for Lizzie, Ava Geck - a Paris Hilton-meets-Britney Spears trainwreck, and Lizzie's supportive best friend Shari and you have something that's been done before. Queen of Babble Get Hitched is the literary equivalent to an episode of "Grey's Anatomy," - it's entertaining, but not earth shattering, and the characters get on your nerves. The best part about this book are the wedding tidbits, love quotes, and wedding disaster advice at the beginning of each chapter.
Despite its predictable plot and poorly developed characters, the book brings to light an important lesson for bridezilla: before you go after what you want, wedding or otherwise, you have to decide what that something is. Lizzie has to decide if she wants a three-carat Cartier ring from a man she might not love, or no marriage at all from a cargo-pants-clad guy who makes her heart flutter. Seems like bridezilla can have too many choices after all!
Ten Creative Save the Date Cards
1) From Penelopea on Etsy. As seen on Bridalwave.
2) From Flypaper Studios. 
3) From ManicBride. 
15 Quotes that Toast Bridezilla Behavior
When it comes time for toasts, don't be surprised if your maid of honor quotes a sickeningly sweet love sonnet written centuries ago. Try not to roll your eyes when she says, misty eyed and somber, "love means never having to say I'm sorry," or "love conquers all."
Since every wedding planning website has a directory of ho-hum love quotes, we compiled a list of quotes from fearless females. Use these quotes at your next all-female celebration. Put them in a basket and play "who said this?" at your bridal shower. Or add these saucy statements to your bachelorette party toasts. If you suffer from stage fright, put these quotes in personalized fortune cookies and give them to the ladies in your life at the rehearsal dinner.
These authors, artists, and leading ladies paved the way for bridezilla and made attitude the latest accessory. Enjoy! And feel free to comment with your own favorite quotes.
1. I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box. ~ Bette Davis
2. The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. ~ Ayn Rand
3. She must not swing her arms as though they were dangling ropes; she must not switch herself this way and that; she must not shout; and she must not, while wearing her bridal veil, smoke a cigarette. ~ Emily Post
4. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~ Rita Rudner
5. You can always tell what kind of a person a man really thinks you are by the earrings he gives you. ~ Audrey Hepburn
6. Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it. ~ Maya Angelou
7. The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. ~Roseanne Barr
8. Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time ~Tallulah Bankhead
9. I have no regrets. I wouldn't have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say. ~ Ingrid Bergman
10. Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? ~ Elayne Boosler
Read on for five more quotes from our favorite fearless females.
Continue Reading 15 Quotes that Toast Bridezilla Behavior »
Diamond Rings: Are Modern Trends Cheapening their Luster?
The purchasing of the diamond ring used to be synonymous with a little blue box, a girlish squeal, and a stern-faced salesman going on and on about "brilliance" and "antiquity." But thanks to modern trends, the diamond ring is slowly being demystified.
For one thing, there is the wild popularity of sites like Blue Nile, where you can buy your ring online, and potentially avoid steep in-store upgrades. To counteract this trend, diamond retailer E.E. Robbins launched an ad campaign with the tagline "You won't find me online. I'm not that kind of diamond." Clearly the intent is to imply that buying a diamond online isn't trendy, but tawdry.
Still yet another trend is renting a replica of your ring so you can try it before you buy it. With all the practical benefits of test-driving a car, you can see how it looks on your hand, goes with your clothes, impresses your coffee mates, etc.
While on their face, all these trends that increase the accessibility of diamonds seem great, Bridezilla wonders if commodifying diamonds to this extent is causing them to lose their luster? Is getting a better deal on a diamond worth forsaking the physical experience of ring shopping? Is wearing your fake ring around for a week a downer compared to seeing your rock for the first time when groomzilla gets down on one knee and pops open the box?
Ring shopping-the gleaming glass counters, the plush carpet, the hushed voices and rows of glittering jewels-used to be a rite of passage. Now, diamonds can be rented like Blockbuster videos and purchased online like the common Ipod case.
Are these amazing and convenient advances? Or the end of the courtship culture as we know it? Will you be buying your ring in a store or online? Weigh in at the comments.
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