Every October, we check out the best in Halloween-themed weddings: cute costumes, candy corn favors, adorable bride-and-groom skeleton cakes. But this year, we turned in the cute for bone chilling.
Take a walk with bridezilla through our wedding haunted house.
But you may not get out alive…..
1. Clown Wedding
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/bikeportland/153448066/in/set-72157594145490500"
It’s the wedding of my nightmares. You can get away with wearing the red dress with the white veil. You can even get away with that circa 1999 arm cuff. But a clown nose?! A bridezilla understands the need for self expression, but does the term beautiful bride mean anything these days?
Please, at least tell us you put a disclaimer in your wedding invite. If I attended this wedding, I’d want to know well beforehand that the bride and groom were dressed like circus clowns, so I could RSVP a big, fat, red “No Thank You.” And perhaps even freakier, the couple’s friends mud-wrestled to kick of the marriage, which also puts this wedding into the Top Signs You are Too Young to Get Married category.
2. Zombie ‘Zilla
We get it. You are so unique and unbarred by tradition that you decided to dress up like a zombie on your wedding day.
Bride-to-groom: Just think, we’ll be that couple everyone talks about. Maybe we’ll even make it on a reality show.
Groom: I don’t know, you think anyone will eat sirloin after watching us get hitched in full leprosy makeup?
Bride: Good point, but the idea of a corpse bride is genius. What a way to get back at my penny-pinching father for not paying for our zombie themed reception. We’ll show him.
Groom: Do you think we should do the Thriller Dance at the Reception?
Bride: Nah, it’s overplayed.
3. True Blood (er..Love?)
This is a Vegas-Gothic-Vampire-Shot-Gun-ShinDig gone truly terrifying (not to mention tacky). Looks like a late ’90s prom picture. Bridezilla doesn’t do drive thru, but if we had to, we’d pass on the Gothic Wedding Chapel and pull right up to the Elvis one, thank you very much.
4. Suicide Suspension Soiree
This couple took their wedding to new weird heights with a suicide suspension trellis. This horrifying body modification wedding theme, shirtless groom, and female priest in the background aren’t the scariest parts — the fact that this couple may procreate is spine-tingling.
Can you imagine what the bride’s grandma thought? Most grandmas get huffy if the bride wears ivory. “Grandma, not only are we living together, I’m hanging from a body modification thingy during the ceremony. If you don’t like it, keep your eyes closed.”
5. Bride in a Box
If the bride has a pixie hair cut, striped-tights, and a black bird-cage veil, Gothic themes can be cute. A bridezilla would never choose such a dark theme, but show us a Gothic wedding that incorporates Manolos and we’re in. This coffin makes the bride look like she took the “Death Do Us Part” line a little too literal. And surprise, surprise, the couple pulled up in a hearse.
Mawhaha….and you thought bridezilla was scary.
Creepy! Those are nice themes for a wedding but I doubt if I will also have a wedding like that! My parents are going to kill me!
Quite a unique wedding indeed. Thanks for sharing.
I was curious how you went about getting permission to use the photos on your web site. While I am humored by your remarks on my wedding (#4 with the suspension) I don’t remember giving permission to a corporation to use my photos in any wasy or form.
Either way, we are in Divorce proceedings now and you could list it as #4 of the top 5 scariest marriages of all time.
hahaha! You’d never get an invitation for my wedding (#1, thanks!), so don’t need to worry here. And we’re not clowns anymore, but certainly still happily married 6 years later.
Funny thing is I never thought of my wedding as becoming something people would blog about, I guess some people just get up and do what they please while others write shit about it. the beauty of internet.
oh! the mud wrestle was to settle who was going to be the best man.
dumest bride ive eve seen
Look! Internet hate!
My wedding was fantastic (#1), it was part of a monthly art walk that helped transform a neighborhood and build a healthy, lively community. The Clown House hosted fun events such as tall bike jousting and mud wrestling and people loved it and came back every month for more.
But maybe all those concepts are hard to understand to someone who is judging people they don’t know, using photos of their fond memories without their permission. Unfortunately your remarks do affect me in a negative way, you are shaming me with no context or reference. Is it really worth it to bully people just for a buck or two?
I’m sure there are more positive things you can do with your carreer.