This past Saturday, over her typical breakfast of bagels and champagne, Miss B almost choked over a genius article in The New York Times that exactly chronicles the modern-day debacle of Bridezillas. The article, entitled “The New Modern Woman, Ambitious and Feeble,” discusses how heroines of the millennium milieu are defined as neurotic, love-starved nit wits with low-level jobs, high metabolisms, and a “lovable” lack of self-control. And if that’s the case, what chance does the stable, steely and composed Bridezilla have? We’re an aberration of our species surely, but can we evolve to survive? More acutely, what chance does any self-respecting woman have in the era of self-deprecation, whether she’s wedding planning or not?
Now even Bridezilla admits, a little rueful optimism towards one’s shortcomings can be charming, but today’s female culture have glorified loving one’s flaws to the point that- without a thorough imperfections pedigree ready to present to your Pilates neighbor or coffee shop seat mate- you are essentially unlovable and incapable of making friends. It’s like you can’t find someone to grab a cappuccino with unless you are willing to sign a full-disclosure friendship form.
And if you aren’t willing to engage in this sort of friendship-flashing-which Bridezilla never would-well then you’re branded a cold dominatrix type who thinks you’’e too good for everyone. Bridezilla is forced to wonder, when did masturbatory second-guessing become social aplomb, and when did dignity become construed as dissonance?
What started with the smart, quirky introspection of Carrie Bradshaw and Bridget Jones has diluted into ditzy doppelgangers like Desperate Housewives’ Susan and Grey’s Anatomy’s Meredith. These bimbo, birdbrain women are esteemed for their nail biting indecision, erratic sexuality, motor mouths and outlandish antics.
These flighty-to-the-point-of-psychotic heroines have nothing distinct about them and are very bad role models, and yet they are America’s SweetHearts while bridezillas like Bree from Desperate Housewives, Hillary Clinton or Posh Spice would be lucky to qualify as America’s SweetTarts. Bridezilla believes these women get a bad rap for not smiling and gushing about their personal issues, but we submit perhaps these discrete, loyal, and regal women make the best friends of all behind closed doors.
Bridezilla, with her impressive, incisive self control and her dignified demurring to discuss personal problems with her bank teller and her barista is the antithesis of the anxious- but-endearing caricature of women popular today, yet we truly make the best friends of all because we aren’t constantly boring others with our self-centered, cyclical and wholly irrational musings.In short, a shared fixation with naughty musicians or nicotene addiction does not a friendship make.
What shift in female friendship etiquette decrees that willful self-degradation is now a requisite for a shopping trip or dinner invitation? It seems that today’s female friendship is a breeze-as long as you’re fully willing to dish on the first friend date about your abusive ex boyfriend, your addiction to almond ice cream that ultimately led to your anorexia and the time you got fired for stealing office supplies.
The moral of the story is, next time you see a self-composed, quiet woman who focuses on performance in Pilates or doesn’t giddily dish on her weekend at work, invite her to lunch. In time, we think you’ll find Bridezillas make the best friends-and role models-of all.
