When we sit down for our blended-family feast (hosted by…not us. We eat food, we don’t cook it), we’ll have a long list of things to be thankful for, starting with Louis Vuitton and ending with our darling husband-to-be. Wait, no, the other way around. But principally on our mind will be the following…
1. The wedding website. They’re easy to make and even free if you create your site through The Knot. Digital Bridezillas can rest easy knowing that each RSVP will signal an email alert and set your iPhone or Blackberry buzzing so you know immediately who to count in, and by setting your site up with maps, directions, suggested hotels, restaurants, and activities for out-of-towners, you can avoid an excess of calls asking the exact same questions sixteen times a day. (Not that we don’t love our guests…really.) Other easy additions to your site? A link to your registry, a photo gallery or link to your Flickr, a printable wedding schedule, a kind-but-firm suggestion of ways to assist the bride in her planning should anyone want to volunteer.
2. The death of tacky bachelorette parties. It’s a personal goal of ours to live a life free of any penis-shaped paraphernalia that’s not meant to keep us company in the absence of the Groomzilla, so most bachelorette parties make us cringe. Whether you go with a chic cocktail party theme or a night out at a concert and then drinking with your girls, we say make it focus more on the party than the bachelorette aspect. Save cash on ridiculous favors and pool resources for a weekend trip to Vegas instead, and skip the strippers in favor of hitting the Wynn, so you can go home with a Chanel bag rather than horrific memories of an overly-muscled man writhing all over your Proenza Schouler slacks.
3. Alternate options for the tired bridal bouquet. Be done with baby’s breath forever when you embrace daring dahlia alternatives like platinum roses, the sweet French Spiral bouquet, or feather bouquets. Or why not simply skip the bouquet toss chaos altogether?
4. Non-coordinating bridesmaid dresses. An army of identically-dressed Bridesmaidzillas is so painfully B.C. – these days, a coterie of differently clad ladies surrounding you is just what a Bridezilla needs to set her off, like a diamond in a multicolored jewel setting. J. Crew, never leave us!
5. Living in the now. Today’s women might have a long way to go, but we’re still decades past the age of alimony and the idea that a woman is nothing without a husband. So celebrate yourselves, Bridezillas! Whether you’re bouncing back from a broken engagement or merely celebrating a long history of ladies just like you, take a moment to love on the year 2007 before we swing into 2008. No, go get that promotion and start a quiet competition with the future Mr. to see who can reach $100k a year before 2010.
