The Five Stages of a Bridezilla

Anyone who has been around an anxious bride-to-be knows it can be a little bit like tiptoeing through a mine field. You’re constantly on edge, unsure of whether the next words out of your mouth are going to unleash a furious storm of rage from the “lovely bride” that will leave you shaking your head and wondering why you ever thought calling her dress “a bit tight” was a good idea in the first place. We’re not saying Bridezilla is actually a bad person, just someone who wants “her day” to be special at any cost. And, with all the stress and planning that goes into a wedding, it’s no surprise that some people will tend to handle it a little bit better than others.
At one point or another, everyone will come into contact with a bride, and if you’re unfortunate enough to find yourself face to face with a full blown bridezilla then understanding the stages they go through can make a huge difference in whether you’re left standing once their reign of terror has run its course. Here are the five stages of a bridezilla.

Stage 1 — The Quiet Before the Storm

In her default state, the bride is relatively optimistic about the prospect of planning her wedding. The entire day is a blank slate of possibilities, and she holds the key to piecing everything together into a breathtaking portrait or perfection. (Or, at the very least, something that will make her friends jealous.)

Stage 2 — Trying Not to Explode

This is where the reality starts to set in. The bride begins to realize that no matter how much time is devoted to planning and preparation, there will be plenty of things that go horribly awry. Cake orders get mixed up, alterations need to be made, family isn’t always cooperative, and worst of all, the groom probably isn’t nearly as concerned with any of the snags as he should be.

Stage 3 — Bridezilla Reaches the Breaking Point

This is where things can begin to get extremely uncomfortable for anyone in a three mile radius. With all the stress and anxiety, there will come a tipping point that sends everything over the edge. It might be something seemingly innocuous, or it might be an egregious offense, but either way, it will cause all the pent up stress and frustration to boil over.

Stage 4 — On the War Path

At this stage there is nothing that can possibly be said to lessen the tension. Things are obviously not turning out how they were visualized way back on the empty canvas of stage one. There is a sense of futility to the entire wedding planning process where the bride will begin to feel that no matter how hard she tries to make things perfect, there is someone joyfully waiting to mess it up.
It’s a no-win situation; if you agree with what they’re saying then you “should have done something sooner,” and if you disagree or downplay the issue then you “aren’t supportive,” and “don’t understand.” Basically, unless you’re ready to get mauled, abused, and just plain steamrolled by the rampaging Bridezilla then it’s best to stay out of her way until this stage has run its course.

Stage 5 — Getting all Tuckered Out

Like a boxer who has thrown so many punches they start to slow down, the Bridezilla will eventually tire herself out and begin easing up on the throttle. It’s hard work berating everyone around you and dwelling on each single mistake, and over time it will begin to take its toll. After curling up in the fetal position for a few hours and gathering a renewed sense of optimism for the “big day,” most Bridezillas will find themselves right back at the first stage, with a renewed sense of optimism about the whole event…at least until the next round of screw ups begins.